Discovering yourself, who you really are and what your place is in this world is no easy task. Learn how you can discover more about you in five easy steps.
"Just be yourself." We've all heard it at some point or another. Two words. How much simpler could it be? Be yourself. Take a moment to think about what that means to you. Who are you, what do you believe in, what do you stand for, and what tenants do you live out? For many of us, "discovering yourself"—is hard.
For some of us, it may very well be that our parents are liberal, and we are conservative, and that causes conflict in our minds. It may be that you have friends who are observant in their faith while you don't have a clear stance of where you stand religiously.
Determining who we "are" and what our place is in this world can be a daunting task to confront. Especially if we lack life experience or we associate ourselves with various types of groups.
Discovering who you are, although a challenging task is a vital first step. Being "yourself" at all times, as Zach Miko shared in an interview with Teen Vogue about being the first plus-size male model, is important "if we want to be happy with who we are right now in the moment".
Discovering Yourself in Five StepsFiguring out who you really are might seem ambitious not to mention perhaps a little scary that can have awkward and complicated moments. The truth is, whether you think that or not, it’s worth the effort to discover who you are as a person and find out what makes you—YOU!
Here we share five quick and easy steps you can take immediately toward learning who you are, so you can steer yourself in directions that will ultimately help you be your best self.
1. Determine Your BoundariesWhat boundaries do you have and how firm are they? Let's assume honesty is a core value to you. Honesty meaning that you believe in telling the truth and to not steal from others.
Now, picture yourself in this situation. If you walked out of a store and discovered that two twenty dollar bills were stuck together when they gave you change, what would you do? Would you return to the store, explain what happened and give back the extra $20? Or, would you decide it was a mistake in your favor and go on with your day?
We all have boundaries we don’t think about. Find out what your boundaries are to learn more about who you are—starting with identifying your core values.
2. What Are Your Strengths?You have strengths, we all have strengths—things we're particularly good at. Things like the ability to listen, the ability to make people feel better when they are "down," the ability to clearly explain what others need to know.
Understand what your strengths are, not by looking at them with an inflated ego, and certainly not by looking at them with too much depreciation but rather to take self-inventory and ask yourself "what am I good at?". Then, decide if you are satisfied with the list of things you're good at and expand on your list in the future.
3. How Do You See The World?When we were all kids, the world consisted of family and maybe a few other people. As we became older, our world got larger and we learned more about empathy and what other people have or don’t have.
"In order to understand yourself better, it's important to consider how you view the world around you."Do you limit your concerns to your family, friends, community groups, and others who look, act, and think like you? Do you find yourself thinking of broader groups and how you might fit into their lives and equally how they fit into yours?
Rather than be judgmental in what your worldview is, make an effort to broaden your horizons so you can better understand yourself and your place in this world.
Life is full of judgments about others and ourselves, and if we don’t have that wider understanding, we can be overly harsh in judging others and judging ourselves.
4. What Are Your Goals?We all have something we want to succeed at and to recognize what those are is an important part towards discovering who we are and what motivates us. Every one of us, including you and I, should have personal goals—to help us focus on what it is that we want to achieve and succeed at.
The definition of success is different for everyone. For some, success might mean to graduate from University, losing a certain amount of weight, getting your 'dream job', or becoming a millionaire by the age of thirty. For you, specifically, however, what are your goals and what realistic steps are you going to take every day to achieve those goals?
Make time to write down your personal goals and your plan of action to obtain each and every one of those goals.
5. Don’t Doubt YourselfPart of discovering your true self is to have doubts. Knowing who you are, allows you to not let that unwelcomed feeling of doubt cripple or hold you back. Nine hundred years ago a Sufi master, by the name of Al-Ghazali, wrote:
"Doubt transports you to the truth. Who does not doubt fails to inquire. Who does not inquire fails to gain insight. Without insight, you remain blind and perplexed."Even some of the greatest people at the top of their field—entertainers, athletes, and politicians admit they have doubts. And, invariably, these people who have achieved greatness looked back to say that doubt helped them to achieve more!
In Robert Kiyosaki's post, 'How to Become Rich and Retire Young', he states:
"We all have doubts. The difference is what we do with those doubts."
See also: How to Be Yourself in a World that is Trying to Change You.
Once we understand and really know who we are, we can then use doubt to drive us to achieve and accomplish more in life. Whatever those achievements and accomplishments are for each of us.
Learning to "be yourself" can be so much harder than it sounds. Some of us already know and have always known who we are. While some of us haven't quite figured it out.
Knowing who you are, gives you confidence. It helps you achieve your goals. Plus, it makes it easier for you to build strong, meaningful relationships with other people.
So I encourage you to take the time to discover yourself by reflecting on some of the points shared with you here. Remember, the more we learn about who we really are, the more satisfied, fulfilled, and confident we will be today, tomorrow, and for the rest of our lives.